


All Things Change

by serenityabrin



Category: Star Wars (Marvel Comics)
Genre: Declarations Of Love, F/F, Getting Together, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-17 23:36:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15472599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serenityabrin/pseuds/serenityabrin
Summary: With the Rebellion's victory over the Empire, Pash questions what her future will be.





	All Things Change

Leia looked resplendent in a simple gown of grey blue.  Her hair was neatly pulled back in two buns.  Around her stood a dozen or so politicians, hanging on her every word as she regaled them with stories about the Rebel victory on Endor.

Pash noted how skillfully Leia glossed over sensitive or unflattering information while telling a spell-binding tale that covertly encouraged her listeners to join the Alliance's growing government.

It was times like these that Pash really felt out of place.  Give her parts to assemble or prototypes to engineer, and she could work miracles.  Diplomacy, not so much.

But what Pash did have was a strong sense of the people she knew.  Leia was a hard book to read but Pash could see when Leia began to tire of the crowd.  She had been here for hours, and not all the diplomats were as easily swayed by her silver tongue as Pash had been.

She clearly needed a break, but Pash knew she was never going to see that for herself, let alone act on it.

Well, it was time Pash was useful somehow.

"Excuse me, your Highness," Pash said, bowing to the impressive display of dignitaries and business-people.  "There's a call for you from General Syndulla."

"Oh, I really should take that.  I hope you all won't mind if we continue this tomorrow," Leia said.

She did not actually leave immediately as there were polite goodbyes to say, but Pash's rather imposing presence kept the wrapping-up portion of the meeting relatively short.

Finally, Leia managed to extricate herself and they could both leave the overly busy ballroom where Mon Mothma was hosting a political function to earn support among the elite of Coruscant.

"What did Hera want?" Leia asked as soon as they were out of earshot.

"She wanted me to rescue you from the hoards of politicians trying to talk you hoarse," Pash said.

Leia paused for just a moment before she understood what Pash had done.  "I know you find this boring, but it's important work."

"I'm sure it is.  But you were telling the same story for the third time.  Can you honestly tell me you weren't ready for a break?" Pash asked.  She was fairly confident Leia wasn't mad at her.  Leia could be opaque when she wanted to be but she wasn't afraid of her own emotions either.  If Pash had stepped over a line, she was sure Leia would give hear an earful about it.

"Hm," was Leia's only response, and they talked no more of Pash's unilateral decision-making.

Walking towards Leia's temporary rooms, Pash said, "So, is it going well?"

"It's not going badly, at least," Leia said.  "But I wouldn't trust that lot further than I could throw them.  There are deep loyalties to the Empire still.  The Empire was good for business.  The shrewdest of the lot can tell they're not going to be able to continue as they have been doing.  They're evaluating whether adapting or backing what's left of the Empire is going to be best for them.  I just have to make sure they make the right decision."

She made a face as she said that, which Pash took to mean Leia's hopes weren't high on that score.

"Well, that's a problem for tomorrow.  I'm sure whatever General Syndulla is calling about is very important and will keep you tied up until morning," Pash said.

Leia snorted.  "I really shouldn't leave Mon Mothma alone, but . . . it isn't that long until morning, and the party should be over by then."

Seeing Leia begin to capitulate, Pash smiled.  "I'll have Bruce turn on the security protocols?"

Leia shook her head but also smiled.  "Might as well.  We'd hardly want someone interrupting my call to General Syndulla, would we?"

"I didn't think so."

Pash left Leia to find Bruce.  Her droid was fiddling with the wires on a portable engine Pash had brought to occupy herself when Leia was in meetings.  "Seal the door and put up the security screen, will you, Bruce?"

Bruce beeped an affirmative and dashed away to do just that.

That left Pash alone.  Leia had just spent hours at the center of a crowd of people.  She could probably use some time to herself so Pash did not rush back to her.

Instead, Pash wandered out to the balcony and leaned on the railing.  Coruscant was laid out before her, a sea of twinkling lights in the darkness.  The busy streets at ground level were bright with activity but up this high it was quiet.

Pash had never been anywhere so grand, and she felt distinctly out of place.  She was wearing an Alliance officer's uniform, even though she usually wore coveralls and grease in her actual work for the Alliance.  The uniform gave her a modicum of respectability but her size and her hair cut and just the way she held herself screamed to everyone in these halls how much she didn't belong here.

"Admiring the view?"

Pash turned to see Leia in the doorway to the balcony.  She had changed out of her formal dress and into a coral-colored sleeping gown with matching robe.  Her hair was now down but swept back with a clip.

She looked lovely.

"I, um, I was just thinking," Pash stammered.

Leia glided forward. "About what?"

Finding it difficult to keep her thoughts when Leia looked at her like that, Pash turned back to the city.  "The future."

"It is amazing." Leia came to stand beside Pash.  "After all our hard work, we are finally on the verge of real victory and real change."

There was such conviction and satisfaction in her voice.  Pash did not begrudge her feeling either because she'd surely earned it.

But Pash didn't feel the same.

"I suppose that's true.  But real change is still change, which is always hard," Pash said quietly.

Leia was quiet for a moment.  "I sense we're not talking about the end of the Empire."

"No, I wasn't thinking about that."  Pash's shoulders drooped.  Of course that was where Leia's mind went.  She was going right from the battlefront to the frontlines of a political war.  She had so much to do, so much to contribute.

What did Pash have to offer?

A tiny hand on her arm had Pash turning her head.  Leia's expression was concerned.  "What's on your mind?"

There were times when it seemed like Leia was looking right into Pash's soul, and it was almost impossible to lie to her when Leia was using a look like that.

Pash shrugged with feigned nonchalance.  "Being up here, it's just brought home that the Empire is really gone.  We succeeded.  There's going to be a new government.  New policies and real justice in the galaxy.  The Rebellion's over."

"But the fight's not over," Leia said, gently squeezing Pash's arm where her hand still lay.  "Look at tonight.  We have a hard road before us before we really root out the Empire's influence.  Even without the Emperor, the Imperial machine has a lot of fingers out there working against us.  There's still so much to do."

Leia sounded invigorated by the challenge.

Pash sighed.  "That's true but . . . I'm not sure there's a place for me in all of that."

Looking taken aback, Leia dropped her hand.  "What do you mean?  Of course there's a place for you."

"Really?" Pash didn't bother to hide her skepticism.  "I've been no help on this assignment.  Everyone talks around an issue without actually saying anything, and then suddenly something's decided somehow.  I can't follow it.  People don't speak plain here.  I'm no hope with translations or social customs.  I'm not even organized enough to provide you the paperwork you need.  And I'm clearly a terrible bodyguard.  Being skilled at bashing someone in with a rock is hardly a match for trained assassins and bounty hunters.  Honestly, I have no idea why I was picked for this assignment."

Some of her frustration bled into her tone, and Pash knew she shouldn't let it.  But it did feel good to finally voice her feelings.

Leia did not react immediately.  A mask fell over her expression, and Pash hated that.  It was the same thing that happened when Leia was negotiating with people she had reason to believe weren't on her side.  Pash never wanted Leia to think that way about her.

Before Pash could say something else, Leia said quietly, "Do you really not know why you are here?"

Pash shook her head.

Rather than elaborate, Leia withdrew a few steps away and looked out over the nightscape below them.  Pash wasn't sure what to say so she held her tongue and waited.

"Do you think I'm a spoiled princess?" Leia finally said, turning to face Pash.

Pash snorted.  "No.  I can't imagine anyone would think that of you."

"And yet . . . I've pulled rank for my own benefit.  I try never to do it but just this once, I couldn't help myself.  You are here because I asked for you to be here," Leia said, her expression guarded.

Pash frowned.  "You did?  Why?"

"Because I wanted you here.  I have been trained since birth to converse with politicians and royalty, and I know what that really means: a minefield of carefully rehearsed gestures and coded talk amid endless hours of boring grandstanding and complaints.  I know how to handle that but that doesn't mean I _like_ it.  I wanted a friendly face here with me.  Someone who will lie about a call from General Syndulla when you can see I've reached my limit.  You are valuable to me."

"I am?" Pash couldn't hide her skepticism.  "Surely, there are others who would be more suited.  Not just a friendly face but someone who could actually help in some way.  Or someone you are closer to."

For some reason, Pash's words caused a stricken look to pass over Leia's face.  The mask fell immediately after so Pash was left in doubt of what she saw.

"I suppose we aren't as close as I would wish, are we?" Leia mused, seemingly talking more to herself than to Pash.  Shaking her head, she focused back on Pash.  "But we are hardly strangers.  We have been on many missions together since you joined the Rebellion.  Do you . . . Do you see me as a stranger?"

"No, but you are a princess," Pash said awkwardly.

Leia looked sad.  "And that's a bridge too far to cross?"

"Of course not.  It's just . . . What happens now?  You may not like being here but this is where you belong.  These are the battles you are uniquely qualified to fight.  The New Republic needs you.  And me?" Pash made a helpless gesture.  "I'll go where there's engineering work to be done.  What other use is there for me?"

"There is engineering work here," Leia said, coming to stand right before Pash.  Her expression was deeply earnest.  "There is work you can do for the New Republic.  We will need every person we have to get this new government off the ground.  There is something that will satisfy your intellect and your spirit."

"I don't belong in a fancy place like this," Pash said.  "I stick out like a Wookiee at an Ewok party."

"And what's wrong with that?  That just means you don't conform to the Empire's standards, but we're building something new - something that has a place for you too," Leia said passionately.

Pash shook her head.  "You don't understand.  It's not about how I look.  It's about who I am.  I'm not designed for politics and affairs of state - to mind my words and actions to the smallest degree.  That sounds torturous."

"But that's not being asked of you," Leia said. "You'll be an engineer, designing whatever it is you want to.  No politicians."

"Okay, but why not do that elsewhere?"

"Is that what you really want?  To leave everyone you've met in the Rebellion behind," Leia asked.

"Lots of people are moving on.  Shara and Kes just sent me a holovid of their boy's birthday.  They've mustered out.  They're settling into the life they've been fighting for.  And I . . . I should do the same."

Pash's tone lacked conviction.  She had made many friends in the Rebellion.  Fighting shoulder-to-shoulder on the frontlines had formed bonds Pash had never dreamed of.  She had no family left.  Living somewhere far from all the people who she had come to care about would suck.

But seeing Leia all the time and knowing how impossible her feelings were for the princess would be a thousand times worse.  No, Pash had been around long enough to know that sometimes it was better to make a clean break than to nurse a heartache with impossible hope.

They had toppled the Empire.  Wanting Leia to return her feelings just felt like too much to ask of the universe.

"I ask again why you can't do that here," Leia said.  "With me."

Pash froze.  "With you?"

Leia looked indecisive but only for a moment.  Squaring her shoulders as if she was preparing for a fight, she lifted her chin and met Pash's gaze with a defiant one of her own.  "I could have asked anyone to accompany me but I wanted you.  Whoever you think should be more valuable to me didn't cross my mind.  It was only you.  It's only been you since I met you.  And I don't just want you right now and right here.  I want you in the future.  I want your support and presence in my life for everything that comes.  That's what _I_ want, and I think . . . I _feel_ that you might want the same.  So, tell me honestly.  Do you want to leave everything of the Rebellion behind?  Truly?  Or do you think you could stand with me a little longer?"

Pash was stunned by what she was hearing, and honestly couldn't react for a handful of seconds.  Her thoughts then raced as she tried to parse the meaning of Leia's words, wondering if she was reading too much into them.  Or if she wasn't reading enough.

"Are you . . .?  Do you mean . . .?"

"I couldn't be plainer," Leia said huffily, and that brought Pash out of her stunned state in exasperation.

"You absolutely could, you know," Pash said.  But she understood that this was as much as Leia was willing to risk.  Well, what could Pash do but risk just as much?  "You really are impossible, you know that?  Is it really that hard to come out and say you love me?"

"Well, if it's so easy, why don't you show me how it's done?" Leia challenged with a slight tremor in her voice.

Pash smiled.  She couldn't help it.  Reaching out to cup Leia's face with a tender touch, Pash said, "I love you.  See, not hard at all."

Which was a total lie.

Leia looked stunned and then suspicious and then torn and then frustrated.  It was a bit of a rollercoaster to watch before Leia apparently decided to hell with it, and threw her arms around Pash's neck to haul her down into a sound kiss.

Pash responded by wrapping her arms around Leia's smaller body and lifting her off her feet so Pash didn't have to lean down quite so far.

With Pash supporting her weight, Leia freed one hand to tangle in Pash's hair, keeping her from pulling back.

Not that Pash had any desire to do that.  Leia kissed like she did everything, with all of herself.  Pash felt the kiss all the way to her toes.

"So," Leia said when she finally pulled back.  She appeared as breathless as Pash was.  "Does this change your mind?"

Pash pretended to think about it.  "I don't know.  I may need to try it again to really make a sound decision on the matter."

"See, you're already thinking like a politician."

Pash rolled her eyes.  "Did you want me to stay or not?"

Leia laughed, and pulled Pash in for another kiss.  Pash could definitely get used to this.


End file.
